Chapter 1 of the manual of Epictetus

Reality falls into two parts: on the one hand there are things that are in our control, whereas other things are not in our control. We do have control over our convictions, impulses, desires and fears, in short about everything that has to do with our inner life; we have no control over our body, property, status and career, in short, about everything that happens outside of us. What we have control over is naturally free, unlimited and unhindered; what we have no control over is weak, subservient, limited and belong to others.
If you believe the things you have no control over, the things that belong to others, to be free, you will be thwarted, you will suffer, you will get stressed and you will blame others. However, if you realize that only your inner self is truly yours and nothing else, no one will be able to force you, no one will oppose you, you will not blame or accuse anyone, you will do nothing against your will, no one will be able to harm you and you will not have enemies. Because no harm can really touch you.
Remember that it is not easy to aim for such great things. Some things you will have to give up altogether, others you will have to postpone for the time being. If you want to achieve these great things but at the same time want to make a career and become wealthy, you will become disappointed. You will not get status and become rich if you pursue these high goals, but you will certainly not succeed in learning how to become free and happy.
Train yourself to say to every annoying event: "You are no more than an impression, and by no means what you appear to be”. Then examine the impression thoroughly and test it by the rules you have: "Do or don’t I have control over this event?" If you come to the conclusion that the event belongs to the category of things we have no control over, then you must say that it does not concern you.

So starts the Handbook of Epictetus. These few phrases from Epictetus are extremely important. They form the core of Stoic philosophy and go all the way back to the founder of this philosophy: Zeno. The Stoic philosophy is nowhere stated as clear as in this first paragraph of the Handbook. He actually says that facts as facts cannot be changed. The weather, politics, other people, the economy, our career, even our own bodies are beyond our direct control. What we can fully control are our opinions about these facts and our way of observing. There is little that can be done about the events in the world, but we can do something about the way we view these events.

Reality is thus divided into two categories: that part which we can fully control and that part over which we have little or no control at all. A simple dichotomy that, if really lived, can completely turn your life upside down. Only the things you can really control are necessary to live a happy and virtuous life. Everything else is superfluous, perhaps fun and perhaps also rational to pursue, but ultimately not necessary for a happy life. Epictetus warns that it is anything but easy to really live this dichotomy. It requires a considerable effort and is not conducive to what is considered a successful career.

Our abilities, our convictions, our desires, our aversions, our fears and in general everything that we use to react to the world around us are in our power. Everything else is not entirely in our power: success in society, wealth, health, illness, relationships, accidents, death, in short everything on which we cannot exercise full influence. This is without a doubt the most important distinction in Stoic philosophy.

What nonsense you may think. That control story may sound nice, but it certainly does not mean that I cannot take my life into my own hands. That I have no influence on the weather, I can still get, but I do have control over my own body and my career. Everyone knows that you can achieve your goals with hard work. If I train long and hard enough, I can win the Rotterdam marathon or at least make a good classification. If I study hard and fully dedicate myself to my company, I can make a career. I can certainly influence this kind of things.

Epictetus was not crazy and of course knew this. If you believe you have your fate in your own hands, you may not be completely wrong, but for the most part you are. No matter how hard you have trained, it is never entirely certain that you will win. After all, someone else may have trained harder or have a better aptitude, you may have a bad day or stumble over a banana peel and miss the marathon completely. The same applies to your career. You can do your best, if your boss does not like you, if the market no longer wants your product, or if that single difficult question you fear is asked on an exam, everything can still go wrong.

The Stoics therefore refine their distinction. They divide reality into things over which you have absolutely no control, such as the weather or the number of hairs on your neighbour’s head, the things over which you can exercise direct and complete control, your volition, opinions and desires, and the things over which you have no more than an indirect and partial control. Even if you do the best you can, you are never entirely sure that you will succeed in your intentions. You therefore only have indirect and partial control over the result of everything you undertake. What you can directly and completely influence is your intention. You can do your best to win a contest, take an exam or get a job. The outcome of your efforts stays always uncertain, because it is partly dependent on external circumstances over which you have no influence. The only thing over which you do have complete influence is your internal motivation.

What exactly does Epictetus mean with 'things we have control over' and with 'things that have tot do with our inner life'? Epictetus actually says here that you have complete control over your beliefs and intentions. It is impossible to agree with something you are not fully convinced of. Just try to agree with the idea that one plus one is three. You will never succeed. Or the belief that one plus one is not equal to two. You neither will succeed. An executioner might be hurting you so much that you cry out, "Yes, one plus one is three!" But in your head you still know for sure that it is not true. The same applies to your intentions to do something. You are, for example, planning to stand up. Nothing can keep you from that intention. Wait a minute, you'll say. I can be paralyzed or a villain may have tied me to my seat. That's right, but that only keeps your legs in check. Not your will to get up. Nothing and no one can stop your will to move, that ultimately you will not succeed is another story. The external result of your intention is after all one of the things that you have no control over.

Epictetus lists a whole series of examples of things over which we have no control. Our bodies, he says, are not in our power: whether we have a strong body, whether we are healthy or handsome, and whether we continue to live or not. So the body is not ours. He continues with a series of external goods that we have no control over: owning an estate, trendy clothing, a house, slaves (nowadays we call these employees) and horses (maybe we can now replace them by 'cars') . Epictetus also talks about other people's bodies: it does not matter how much we want it, it is not in our power that our children stay alive, neither our husbands, brothers and sisters, nor friends.

At first glance, this seems a very gloomy picture. Everything around us, even our own body, is completely beyond our control. You might wonder if it is so extreme. Is this correct? I do not have any control over whether I am born pretty or not. But the idea that my health is completely beyond my control does not seem entirely correct. It is up to me to eat healthy, and it is up to me to avoid all sorts of dangers. If I feel sick, I can go to the doctor. After all, I can take a wide range of measures to take good care of my body and possessions.

Epictetus would agree with this. He would say that everyone has a responsibility to take good care of his health. But he would also say that the 'control' we have on the care for our body is partial and limited, no matter how much care we devote to it. If we feel sick, it is wise to go to the doctor, but whether we get sick or not (although we take all possible precautions to stay away from infectious people and contaminated food) is not in our power. And when we arrive at the doctor (even though we do everything we can to find a good doctor) it is not in our power again if we get a correct diagnosis, let alone an effective treatment.

But suppose you manage to really get something you grave. Wouldn't that be a great way to become happy? Not really. The road towards the realization of your desires often leads to less pleasant emotions. Take, for example, a wage increase. You get the so wanted increase in your income from your boss, but in the period before you succeed you felt anxious and insecure. Have I worked hard enough? Have I achieved all my targets? Do I dare to ask my boss? Maybe he will get angry and I certainly will not get a raise anymore, or even worse I will get fired. Whatever steps you take to achieve what you want, or to avoid what you do not want, you have no guarantee that your efforts will be crowned with success. Certainly it is sensible and rational to do your best. But whether you actually get what you want to achieve is beyond your control.

Epictetus, and the Stoics in general, do not emphasize getting what they want. If you put all your hopes on getting what you want, you will probably often be disappointed. But if you instead set your hopes on the things that are free and really important: your desires, judgments and intentions, and if you train yourself to become an expert in this skill, you will never be disappointed. Once you have mastered this skill you can live a virtuous and happy life under all circumstances.